GO HOME

December 9, 2004 9:15 PM

So I didn't mention it yesterday but I put out another fire at work. This time was a whole lot less fun. Why? Multiple people standing around me so I could just let the fire have it with the fire extinguisher. Cause of fire was Palladium Carbon and a little man by the name of Dr. Gang Liu. G-liu you're gonna be the death of us all!

December 8, 2004 2:00 AM

This man sucks good dick. You can buy pretty dishes, you can buy a bowl, you can't buy legitimacy.

December 5, 2004 9:30 PM

Our story begins in a land where poverty and famine had decimated the populace. In the past years a foolish ruler who had mistakenly fallen into leadership had run the country into the ground. The armies had grown undisciplined. Desperation had grown rampant. The previous years had been horrible to the people of this cruel land. The people were ready for a change. The suffering had to end.

This is where our protagonist comes into the story. From a distant land to the North, a land of tall timbers and evergreen forests, our Hero rides in with the incredible ability to lead armies to victory. After taking control of the country in a bloodless coup, the Hero gains the support and admiration of the masses.

The people rally behind the Hero who slowly but surely leads his country to victory after victory. Year after year capable soldiers flocked to the Hero in droves upon hearing of this amazing man's ability to lead.

Finally after 45 years, the Hero had led his capable army to the steps of the hallowed ground. The army's spirits rose as did the peoples of the land. They were to finally reclaim what was rightfully theirs.

That's when disaster struck. For the gods had not agreed to let the armies of the Hero into the hallowed grounds. As the armies of the Hero lay encamped at the gates to the hallowed ground another army approached on the horizon.

The army that had arrived was not nearly as capable as the army of our Hero. Their leader was a portly, stupid, filthy, ugly, pathetic, and grovelling man. The army of the portly, stupid, filthy, ugly, pathetic, and grovelling man also wanted to obtain access to the hallowed lands.

The Gods convened in the heavens to discuss what had to be done. Only one army could be allowed in. But which one? So the gods decided to propose a test. The man who would lose his dignity and pride should be allowed to enter.

The head of the Gods appeared before the Hero and the portly, stupid, filthy, ugly, pathetic, and grovelling man and said unto them, "He who shall kneel on the ground and take my godly penis in his mouth shall be allowed into the hallowed grounds."

The portly, stupid, filthy, ugly, pathetic, and grovelling man, having neither integrity, skill, talent, intelligence, nor dignity immediately dropped to his knees and started felating the god. The Hero who had virtue and would not sink to this man's level took out his sword and raised it in the air.

With a swift strike he brought his sword down cutting off the penis of the god while the portly, stupid, filthy, ugly, pathetic, and grovelling man still had his lips wrapped around the member. The GOD was ENRAGED by what had just happened and VOWED that the Hero, though virtuous and good wiould not be allowed into the hallowed lands. Instead the portly, stupid, filthy, ugly, pathetic, and grovelling man and his armies would be allowed in.

The Hero would be relegated to lands further to the South. But the Hero did not sink to the lower level. He remained dignified. And the people praised him for it.

This is how our dream season ended. A season that seemed almost too amazing to be true. Filled with Heroes, Villains, and Martyrs.

The happy ending to our fairytale was stolen from us by the pettyness of one man. One portly, stupid, filthy, ugly, pathetic, and grovelling man and his disgusting group of cohorts.

Fuck you texas and fuck you mack brown.

 

December 5, 2004 3:38 AM

Just got home from the third party tonight... Oh man what a beautiful day.

2:45 PM: Wake up.
3:10 PM: Drive to berkeley to join up with the crew for the game.
3:30 PM: Get to Northside Le Val's in prep for the Cal vs So Miss game. Angry yelling begins.
7:40 PM: Kerem rolls in from skiing to catch the last bit of the game.
8:10 PM: After much screaming, anger, yelling, table pounding game is over. FUCK TEXAS.... I still smell roses bitch!
8:15 PM: Start the drive out to Palo Alto for Amy's Bday party.
9:30 PM: Amy's party is a lot of fun full of drunk Amy and Soerha and sake bombing.
11:20 PM: Amy's dinner finishes they go clubbing Jon rolls back towards berkeley.
11:30 PM: Shyam and Steve receive mysterious calls from Jon asking if they want to go to a "Sleep Wear" drinking party. Steve and Shyam are on to the breaka' breaka' dawn.
12:00 AM: Steve is picked up... Steve is in Sleep Wear... on to El Cerrito.
12:10 AM: Sarah is picked up... Michelle and Jon change into Sleep Wear... Sarah has been in sleepware for hours at this point... on to Berkeley.
12:20 AM: Shyam is picked up... Shyam is in Sleep Wear... on to 24 hour Safeway on college and clairemont to obtain liquor.
12:30 AM: Grey Goose is purchased as present. Smirnoff and Orange juice is purchased for Sarah.
12:40: AM: Reach Pang's amasing house out near Monteclaire. Party is hopping.
1:00 AM: Party is still hopping. Jon serves Sarah in dance off... puta... Shyam is judge.
1:10 AM: Jon still handing Sarah her ass with his arsenal of dance moves.... puta.
1:40 AM: Sir Mix-A-Lot's Baby Got Back comes on. Jon moves his ass likes he's never moved it before.
2:00 AM: Drunk ass Steve gets asian girl in Red.... THANKS TO JON'S HELP BITCH!
2:05 AM: Steve leaves girl in red to vomit... Jon takes care of business.
2:10 AM: Sarah grabs girl in Red and drags her over to Steve right after he had vomited and says here he is. Girl in Red proceeds to give Jon her phone number for Steve to call her. In addition girl is Red will now be known as Amy.
2:15 AM: Steve is now so drunk he has forgotten who Amy is and whether or not he danced with her. Jon laughs.
2:20 AM: Steve is now way to drunk to understand that he could've had casual sex with Amy. Jon laughs.
2:40 AM: Sarah grabs the DJ that was playing hip hop and tells him to get back out there and kick off the DJ that is playing this Beep Boop Beep Boop shit. Hip hop DJ says some bullshit about how we may be changing Beep Boop Beep Boop DJ's life by letting him perform. Jon says, "Wow that's so profound!" sarcastically. Sarah misses his sarcasm and says, "As profound as my ass after I take a shit" and then proceeds to do a faceplant onto the wood floor.
2:50 AM: More dancing ensues. Drunk Sarah is busting out all the stops and pulls out all the hip hop dance routines. Still is schooled by Jon's twitchy arm. Fear the arm.
3:00 AM: Jon feels that he should take these drunk people home before one of them vomits in the home of his friend.
3:10 AM: Jon's group leaves the party. Fun is had by all. Most are completely wasted...
3:35 AM: Jon gets home and gets on computer.

What a great fucking day! 3 party night

Oh yea and Steve I have Amy's phone number for when you're sober enough to not remember her.