GO HOME

October 28, 2004 9:19 PM

So tired... so I had one good day and then many bad days. I blame shitpep. I've been working until 8pm-9pm. Damn job getting in the way of my fun. On the flipside the Cal vs. ASU game is this saturday at 7PM!! I'M EXCITED FOR THIS! GO BEARS!

I think the biggest thing about keeping my journal updated is that I really don't have anything to say. And most of the time I'm too tired to recount a story. But Halloween is coming up around the corner. Which brings up some memories. Like pumpkin smashing.

I know I know I'm an asshole, I'm destroying a poor little kids pumpkin. PEOPLE, THEY'RE FUCKING PUMPKINS!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? BRONZE THEM FOR NEXT YEAR!? BETTER I BASH THEM IN THAN THEY ROT A SLOW DEATH! LIVE FAST! DIARRHEA! go vandals seeing them tomorrow..

Man so many Halloweens I spent bashing in pumpkins. I remember that one Halloween with Bryan Laing, when we rolled around and smashed I think the count was in the 40's. Let's say 47 pumpkins. It was great. We smashed them in the neighborhood around Pilot Butte Middleschool. Which is actually where Scott Laird lives... hmmm hope I never smashed his pumpkins. Anyway I went smashing pumpkins with Scott too. Anyway those were good times. There's nothing quite as satisfying as smashing a pumpkin. For all of you who missed out. Here you go...

The Thief's Guide to Smashing Pumpkins:

Step 1: Knowing well that people are out and about trick or treating. The thief must be very careful. Wear black or preferably some other dark color. This is so you don't look suspicious. If you have a ski mask... wear it HA!

Step 2: The adrenaline really hits as you sneak up to someone's house. This is the best part, so savor the bitter tang of copper in your mouth and the rapid fluttering of your heart.

Step 3: Then you grab 1 or 2 pumpkins, or as many as your filthy thief arms can carry. Then you raise the pumpkin above your triumphant thief head and smash them until their squishy innards are plastered across the ground all over your thief shoes. OR

Step 4: you run back to your thief vehicle with the 1-2 or as many as you can carry. And you throw the pumpkins in the backseat. Then you can proceed to drive around going 70 in a 35 mph zone hurling the pumpkins at people's mailboxes. OR

Step 5: you can keep filling the car full of pumpkins. When you get 20 or so pumpkins, you smash them all in front of one house.

Step 6: Giggle and Cackle Maniacly as you try and explain the odd pumpkin smell and the large amount of pumpkin dirt in your car to your parents.

Step 7: Happy Halloween bitches!