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June 16, 2005 6:39 PM

HAHAHA Stanley, Lee in SD... ya you know me.. HAHA , pointed me in the direction of this.

Here's the content:

Conversations With My Wife: Star Wars

Episode IV: A New Hope

Wife : How does Hans know what Chewybacca is saying?
Me : You mean Han and Chewbacca.
Wife : That's what I said.
Me : No, you said Hans and Chewybacca.
Wife : Whatever.  This movie is so stupid.

Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

Wife : Wait, why did she just kiss him like that?  I thought they are brother and sister.
Me : They don't know they're siblings yet.  They find out in the next movie.
Wife : I bet she feels really dumb when she finds out.
Me : I don't think so.
Wife : She should.
Me : She was only trying to make Han jealous.
Wife : Then she should have kissed Chewybacca.

Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

Wife :  What are those things called again?
Me : Ewoks.
Wife : They look like teddy bears to me.
Me : Yeah, I can see that.  But they're called Ewoks.
Wife : They should just be called teddy bears.
Me : But that wouldn't really fit with the whole feel of the trilogy.  I mean you can't have Wookies, droids, Jedi and then teddy bears.  That would be totally unrealistic.
Wife : Get me some ice cream.

Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Wife : Who's this kid?
Me : He's Anakin Skywalker.  He grows up to be Darth Vader.
Wife : I thought Darth Vader died in the one with the teddy bears.
Me : He did.  But this is a prequel, not a sequel.  This is Episode I.  The one with the teddy bears was Episode VI.
Wife : So they went back in time?
Me : Who?
Wife : The characters.
Me : Well, not really.  I mean kind of.  This takes place earlier in time than the first three movies.  But no actual time travel took place.
Wife : Hmm.  Sounds stupid to me.

Episode II: Attack of the Clones

Wife : I don't know which army is good and which is bad.
Me : The clone army is –
Wife : Don't tell me because I wont understand.  I don't care anyway.
Me : It's really not that complicated. You see, the clone army –
Wife : (Makes snoring sound.)

Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (Trailer)

Wife : So is this the last one?
Me : It's the last movie that they're making, yes, but it's the third episode of six.
Wife : God, you've got to be a druid to figure the whole thing out.
Me : A druid?
Wife : Yeah, a robot-guy.
Me : Oh, you mean a droid.
Wife : (Makes jerking-off motion.)

HAHAHA Thanks Stanley!

June 14, 2005 5:33 PM

Sarah and I were discussing what would be included in our dream houses. Here are a few ideas:

Me:
-Dual head showers
-Pump soap and shampoo in the shower
-LCD's flush in the bathroom and shower wall, wired to a computer so you can watch tv eps while you clean yourself
-Nice speakers integrated to all portions of the house, jacked into mp3 system.
-Indoor pool - second story balcony overlooking indoor pool. From the balcony there will be diving boards, rope swings, and water slides... bitchin
-Trampoline room: padded walls, and visible from the 2nd and 3rd story balconies. So you can bail from the second or third story onto the trampoline.
-HUGE TV THAT BLOCKS OUT THE SUN!
-Basement arcade/tv room. Lots of bean bag chairs, couches and pillows.

Sarah:
Huge freezer
Slave (albino)

I know... Sarah's a bad person