Things to remember: My Journal

Ok so yesterday Saturday April 28th, I was driving with Michelle over the Bay Bridge into SF and I was telling her about a weird dream I had last night.

I had the dream 2 times with different outcomes. Basically in my dream I was driving along the Bay Bridge from East Bay toward San Francisco. I can’t remember why I was trying to get across, but I assumed work. Anyway I was able to get across the bridge since a portion of it had collapsed into the bay. Once again I don’t remember why it collapsed but, it just did, I assume an earthquake. So the first time I had the dream I got to the portion of the bridge that was out and swam across with a bunch of other people.

The second time I had the dream police had blocked off the bridge and were turning people around. I remembered thinking that I hoped I wouldn’t have to detour to the San Mateo bridge. I drove to the point of the collapse in the bridge and looked down at the abnormally blue water… then I woke up.

Ok now here’s the weird part. This just happened this morning at around 6am.

BREAKING NEWS AND UPDATES

Tanker Truck Explosion and Fire Closes Most of MacArthur Maze in Oakland (4/29/07 7:26 a.m.)
There is a severe traffic alert for all lanes of I-80, I-580 and I-880 at the MacArthur Maze in Oakland. Mutiple lanes are closed due to a tanker truck explosion and fire. Motorists are strongly advised to avoid the area, expect delays and to use alternate routes.

The following connector ramps have been closed:

Westbound I-80 to southbound I-880 and eastbound 580 / eastbound I-80 to eastbound I-580 / westbound I-580 to westbound I-80

CHP has detoured all eastbound I-80 traffic coming off the Bay Bridge on to eastbound I-80 headed towards Sacramento. All eastbound big rig trucks are being turned around at the Bay Bridge toll plaza and back over the the Bay Bridge in the westbound direction. There is no estimated time of reopening of all lanes.

Just a really weird coincedence. And now I can’t get to work.

So everyone has seen the “Ghostride the Volvo” video on Youtube? If not, well.. get there.

Any way these guys are actually part of HugeinAsia.com. Where they basically make these video shorts… in Asia. There’s some pretty funny stuff, like where Nate from the ghostride video makes the claim that he’s the “Fastest Man in Asia.” Then he proceeds to go around racing the natives. It’s all pretty funny stuff.

Best part is the black Cal hat one of the guys (Kai) sports.

Happy birthday kid! We went to Le Colonial bar in SF, where I got my dance on with the +35 crowd to 80’s classics. Gallery added.

The crowd was definately a bit older but I had a bunch of fun dancing. This, however, does beg the question, would you bring you’re mom to a bar?

Cuz she has salmonella…

Michelle: heheh
I’m sorry but the title of this is so funny http://www.cookingforengineers.com/article.php?id=123&title=Boning+Chicken+Breast

I know.. you all thought she was nice…

Last night we headed out to Kerem’s Birthday party at the A’s vs Yankee’s game, then headed over to Old Ship Saloon in the city.

I’ve known Kerem since Fall of 1999 when we first moved into the dorms at Griffiths hall in Unit 2 at Cal. Good lord.. that’s a long time.

What are some of my favorite Kerem moments? Here’s one of them.

Farting on Umesh

Part 1: Getting into Spens-Black
Kerem was completely sauced out of his mind and he insisted on me and him walking Matt (my future housemate) back to his dorm (Unit 3). It was around 2:20 AM and by the time we got to Unit 3 Kerem, drunk out of his mind said, “DUDE Let’s go visit my buddy, he lives in Spens-Black!” So me and Matt decided to humor drunk Kerem and went into Spens-Black.

Now every building in the dorms has a security guard that makes sure that you live in the dorm by swiping your ID card. None of us were residents of this dorm, and we had no clue which room his friend lived in, so Kerem tried to convince the girl at the security counter that he lived in Spens-Black.

Here’s how the conversation went:

Kerem: I LIVE HERE!
Security Girl: No you don’t.
Kerem: I TOTALLY LIVE HERE! *Note: Kerem thought he was really convincing… hahaha*
Security Girl: Fine, what floor do you live on then?
Kerem: *Pause* Fifth floor *Note: Fifth floor makes sense, because in Unit 2. 4th floor was the all guys floor and 7th floor was the all girls floor*
Security Girl: No you don’t, I LIVE ON FIFTH FLOOR.
Kerem: No I totally live on Fifth Floor, I’ve seen you before. I’m just really quiet and I never come out of my room. *Note: this is not even a slightly reasonable response. But drunk Kerem thought it was pretty clever.*
Security Girl: Look you don’t live here, and I’m not gonna let you in.

At this point it was around 2:45AM. I reminded Kerem that at 3am they close the security booth and that at that time we can walk in. So for the next 15 minutes we sat there and stared at the girl in the security both as she gave us the dirtiest look imaginable. For 15 minutes… Kerem just sat there… and mad-dogged this poor little asian girl. At 3AM she closed the security booth and at that point she came out and took the elevator up. We rode the elevator up with her. And once again she gave us the dirtiest look when she got out on 5th floor. At this point Matt spoke up, “Uhh.. Kerem… The 5th floor is the all girl’s floor.” HAHAH

Anyways we had no clue where Kerem’s friend lived so we basically started at the 8th floor and went down floor by floor. We actually did find Kerem’s friend who was play Counter-Strike at 3am. It was pretty uncomfortable.. actually hahaha.. since Kerem’s buddy was pretty weirded out that we were there at 3am.

Part 2: of the Umesh farting adventure…
So we left Spens-Black and headed over to Matt’s dorm, Priestley Hall. Matt and his roomate Umesh didn’t get along. So Matt was always talking shit on him. So when we got up to Matt’s Floor Kerem wanted to pee on Umesh.

Kerem: Hey Matt, can I pee on Umesh?
Matt: NO!
Kerem: Come on man… let me pee on Umesh
Matt: NO! You’re not gonna pee in my room man.
Kerem: Come on dude… just a little bit
Matt: No Kerem!
Kerem: Come on… just let me pee on Umesh a little bit.
Matt: NO!
Kerem: Well… let me fart on him. *Note: Umesh had a “No Farting” poster hanging on his wall*
Matt: DUDE… NO!
Kerem: Come on
Matt: NO!
Kerem: Come on.. Just a little…

And with that we left back.. for home.. Good Ol’ Room 311, Floor 3, Griffiths Hall, Unit 2.

Today we checked out the bring your own big wheel race, where they race down the top of Lombard street on all sorts of big wheels wearing a vast array of costumes. There were a ton of racers a spectators and parking was a real bitch. Nice job Shyam on tanking it in the illegal spot :-)

Anyways pictures can be found here.

Then we ate at the always delicious Pacific Catch. mmmmm…. soooooo gooooood. *drool*

Check out Jill’s Flickr for more pics here.

So me and my buddy Arun were having a conversation while I was in India, and we came up with a new TV show.

Arun: have you had any time on your own there? or are you working 24/79:17 PM me: ummI had half a dayI went to Suratwhere I took pictures of ghee then I went to the Surat beach on the arabian see. … it’s more of a salt flat than a beach and apparently I was the star attraction cuz everyone was taking pictures of me … so I took pictures of them taking pictures of me9:18 PM Arun: all the roundeyes were impressed me: WOAH! He’s yellow! instead of a brown! hahaha FASCINATING!9:19 PM Arun: hey, isn’t it work time for you now?9:20 PM me: ppshhh work.. where I’m going they don’t need work Arun: ah me: and by they i mean whisper Gujarati’s Arun: haha9:21 PM me: hahah yea Arun: “guju” is the preferred deragatory term me: things are quiet until chromatography columns get here today or tomorrow guju? me likey hahah ActuallyMy punjab buddy says that in Punjab Arun: um, seriously don’t say that out loud me: they make fun of people by calling them Marathi’s haha9:22 PM “Haha you’re a marathi” Arun: yeah, they are all racist, Indians are the most racist people i know me: hahah no chinese people are well .. probably similar Arun: yeah me: we should have a racist off my most racist people against yours pick 10 they shall compete in 6 different events9:23 PM leading to the racist-liminator the contestants will have to match wits, physical strength and stamina all for the title.. “World’s Most Racist Race” Bamn new reality tv show Arun: new reality show me: I demand royalties Arun: i thought of it9:24 PM me: no way dude racist-liminator that’s all me baby haha Arun: yeah, you did coin that9:25 PM me: man I’m going to hell

I’m still working on the details… but basically it’ll be American gladiator’s…. but to determine who’s the most racist of all. Of course the 6 events will be based on uncomfortable racial situations and seeing how each race deals with it. Like African Americans walking into a Korean Grocery store. Or white people trying to order spicy food at a Chinese Restaurant. “Kung Pao chicken.. Too Splicy for you!”

Of course I’m still fleshing this out before I pitch it. I’m gonna be rich!

So I visited Eastern Rivers, a chromatographic column manufacturer, which is based in Chattanooga Tennessee.

First off, FUCK YOU DELTA!! I flew through Cincinnati airport, I started my flight at 7am in the morning got there around 3pm. At that point they delayed my plane departure from 5pm to 7pm. At around 7:30PM they cancelled my flight and told me I was shit out of luck. Well, I told them that I HAD to get into the Chattanooga, and they said that the only way was to fly into Huntsville, Alabama and then get driven 2 hours to Chattanooga. I left Cincinnati at 9:45pm and got into Huntsville around 12am. By the time I got to Chattanooga it was like 2am.

Then on the flight back, something spilled in the gally and since i had a bulkhead seat the water seeped through the bulkhead and made the first 2 rows of seats a big puddle. And since they never clean the carpets in the planes.. the SMELL WAS… DE-LIGHT-FUL! Thank you Delta… Thank you for making sure i never fly your shitty airline ever again!

Ok anyways… back to the best ribs in Chattanooga. Well apparently there are a few decent rib places in Chattanooga, but the money-money ribs are sold by an old blackman who has a converted oil drum smoker, who sells them on the side of the road. The head engineer/designer of Eastern Rivers was telling me about when he was growing up he had friend who’s dad would drop by where the old man sold his ribs on the way home everyday, and pick up a bag of ribs. Now basically this friend’s dad found out one day that he had high cholesterol and was not allowed to eat ribs anymore. After about a week of not eating ribs, this friend’s dad heard someone at his door, and it was the old man. The old man was worried about the father since he hadn’t dropped by to get ribs. So the old man had asked around, and tracked down where this friend’s father lived. The old man paid him a visit, and brought him a bag of ribs.

Now cool as this story is… the best part is Sarah’s reaction to it.

Sarah: i want a dedicated black manwhat did the guys dad do?3:11 PM me: hahah that’s end of the story I think he still had to be on a diet3:12 PM Sarah: i would be friends forever with that black man i’m prolly related to him me: I know you would sir I know you would

                    Sarah: like i would ask him to let me bathe in his bbq sauce

3:13 PM and give me a blanket of baby back ribs under which to sleep me: hahahhaaha3:14 PM I could see you sleeping under a blanket of ribs is the sad part… I can see it in my head… I NEED… TO… DRAW….. IT…. Sarah: i require a pillow of white bread3:16 PM me: yessir

Ok I’m gonna have that on my webpage tonight you just made the webpage after months of inactivity NOTE: I LIED3:17 PM Sarah: hehehe you have to include the chat

me: yessir…
Well here you go Sarah…

These were written back in October & November of 2006:

10-28-06 3:08AM US time - Doing things the Hard Way…
India makes me sad. The first day I got here, they were moving a very heavy metal condensor off a roof and moving a new one onto it. (pictures) In the US you call “Joe” and he’ll bring a crane over and lift that thing off. The job would be done in 1 hour, max. So basically they took this big iron pole with a bar at the top and brought in 9 laborers. They pushed this pole up and and wrapped it to the building with rope. Then the throw a pulley over the top of the bar and hook it to the condensor. Then they attach another rope to the condensor and have 8 people pull.

This whole ordeal took an entire day. On top of that, these guys are like Ninjas they’re working 1-2 stories with no rope, no safety equipment. Crazy shit!

11-8-06 8:45AM US time - DEMOCRATS TAKE THE HOUSE!
3 People in India told me the democrats took the house and senate before I read anything about it. HAHA!

11-9-06 10:12AM US time - Children at the restaurant
So I was sitting at dinner tonight in the Shalimar Hotel and it was really crowded. Shalimar is the only nice hotel in town so lots of people have their weddings and parties there. Anyway there were a lot of Muslim Indians there this time and there was a group 9-10 little kids aged 3-7 who apparently found me fascinating. They run over and stare at me… get a little closer… stare at me… get a little closer… I’d wave and they’d run off. They did for about 10 minutes.. then they decided to huddle around me and my 2 person table and just look at me and shout things in Gujarati at me and Giggle. They were asking my name apparently some guy said. Anyways after 20 minutes, This little midget guy comes over, let’s call him “Shyam Jr.”, comes over and tells me in good English that they wanted to say hi and how are you but they only know Gujarati. Then “Shyam Jr.” tells me that he can speak English because He, goes to and English speaking school… Just like Shyam the Older. But Shyam Jr. is missing his front teeth. HAHA Then they spend the next hour.. running around and grabbing things on my table. A little ~4 year old ones mumbles INdian and decides to grab my arm, and not let go. They’re families finally went outside… Where they decided to sneak up behind me and tap the window behind my chair and wave.
HAHAHA Kids are stupid in every country. But thoroughly entertaining.

11-10-06 1:11AM US time - Injury at the plant
I saw someone get hurt today. Out in front of Glenmark there’s a big sign that says no accidents since the beginning of the year. That’s because they don’t consider laborers as employees. I heard from the plant manager that they had some guy fall off a building and crack his head open the week before. Today I was walking around the grounds and I saw five guys carrying an unconscious man towards the front administration office. There was another man fanning him with a piece of cardboard trying to wake him up. Apparently the man had fallen off the building and fractured his arm. He was unconscious from the pain.

It’s just not the same. In the US you don’t have people climbing around without safety harnesses. Kamalesh mentioned that these guys get paid like 125 rupees a day. That’s like 3 bucks… So what do you do with 3 dollar equipment when it breaks…

it gets discarded.

11-13-06 10:11AM US time - The Daily Grind
What is Ankleshwar like?

So I’ve been staying at the Shalimar Hotel. It’s apparently the best hotel in Ankleshwar. And one of the best in 40km in any direction. Problem is… it’s kinda worse than a Motel 6. It also has a restaurant that serves food that is… average.

Every night I spend about 30-45 swatting all the various bugs in my room. I then brush my teeth with a bottle of water. Ankleshwar back in the 90’s was home many many chemical plants which pumped most of the waste into the ground water. I take a shower at night and keep my eyes and mouth tightly closed to make sure none of the water gets in. Then I sleep on the big footprint that someone left in the middle of my bed.

In the mornings I wake up, most of time I skip breakfast for that extra 20 minutes of precious sleep. Sometimes I go downstairs and get a orange juice, some toast, and a masala omlette. It’s actually pretty tasty. But sleep is better. Then after getting up, I get picked up by the company car and roll down the broken roads that wind through Ankleshwar. I find myself gritting my teeth every time I ride in a car. Not just because the roads are completely in disrepair, but also because the driver is barely missing pedestrians, motorcycles, and trucks by mear inches.

I try to work as long as possible, just because there’s nothing else to do. I welcome the 16 hour day, because that means I only have 1-2 hours of down time before I crash out of the night. The pollution in the morning is better than night. At night you see a fog settle down. I actually said, “COOL FOG!” the first time I saw it. But the operator I was with said, “That’s not fog, that’s pollution.” The drive drive back from the plant it always worse. I try and breathe as little as possible during the 20 minute ride.

I get back to the hotel, grab dinner… and watch an hour of HBO South Asia! haha! or the History Channel South Asia. I swat some bugs… I sleep… that is the daily grind.

11-14-06 7:38AM US time - Microcosm
My small microcosm consists of work and the people at the hotel. So there are a ton of foreign Business men that are here for various reasons. There’s the “Super Contingent.” They consist of Germans/Italians/French/Chinese. You see them every morning sitting on the steps of the hotel until a HUGE extra long SUV/Bus comes and pick them up and brings them all to the textile plant they’re doing business at. The Chinese guys are selling machines from China, I had to help translate between them and the owner of the textile plant, Mr. N.K. Gupta. Those Chinese guys were really hilarious they didn’t speak any English and have been using hand signals the entire trip. They had been there for 3 months. One of them brought all of his own cigarettes from China… he brought an entire suitcase full of cigarettes.. haha

The Germans, are actually from the US, but work for a German company. Dieter has lived in the US for 36 years now since he moved from Germany many years ago. He’s from North Carolina. His colleague Jonny is also from NC and he’s good ol’ fashion country boy. They left a few days ago because Jonny couldn’t sleep for two days. He had incredible pain from his appendix. They took him to the hospital where they pumped him full of drugs until he could get on a plane and get cut open in the US. I hope they’re doing well

The Italians Marco, and another one I didn’t meet. The other one left for Italy because he had a kidney stone and couldn’t Urinate. *Opens a bottle of water and chugs it* no kidney stones here. Marcos has a small baby and a wife back in Italy. He hasn’t seen them in a while not since around world cup when he took them to Euro Disney in France. Where he was in a see of French Flags waving an Italian one. He doesn’t get to go home until December 20th for Christmas… Then he comes back here after Christmas. Poor guy.

The French, I only met one of them. Manuel, although he was dark and I thought he said his name was Manoj. I called him Manoj for a week thinking he was Indian. Then I asked him how an Indian ended up in France… HAHAH WHoops!

Then there are the two chinese guys from Beijing who work for an American company. They’re here doing oil related work. They’re really nice guys too.

There’s Amadeo, Raphael, and Michael (Pronounce Mihwo, or Mihau… he’s polish.. I dunno) - They do automations work. Amadeo is Philipino from Manila, though his dad and mother are both American citizens. In fact his dad served in the Army. His entire family is in the Bay Area, so he speaks pretty good English.

Raphael looks like your prototypical nerd. He wears thick glasses a popped collar and a neon blue fanny pack. He’s from Italy and does PLC programming for their project. The guy is fucking Hilarious! Complete nerd but gave me this advice… The Dangers of India
1) Mosquitos
2) Snakes
3) Water
He’s spent 400 days off and on over the past 3 years in India. No wonder he seems a little crazy.

Michael - is polish and doesn’t say much. I told him about Pollock Jokes in the US. He didn’t get them

These are the people I converse with at breakfast/in the lobby/ and at dinner time. It’s a strange lonely little existence at Hotel Shalimar. It’s not really sad… but it’s just kinda silly. Like these people and the people at work.. are my entire universe right now. That’s it… kind of a strange thing. Everyone’s really friendly though. I guess everyone gets lonely far away from home.

Hey everyone,

check out the gallery, put up all of my India trip pictures, and some other stuff. I kept a journal of stuff that happened in India. I’ll put that up soon.